Tuesday, December 04, 2007

London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets theworm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend morethan you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are incharge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.


I couldn't resist posting this, as I have say to my husband, doesn't anyone have common sense anymore? :o)

2009 update: At the orginal time fo posting this article I didn't know who wrote it and simply found it online. Since then I have found the writer. She deseves the kudos for writing it.
Note from Lori Borgman: This piece was first published March 15, 1998 in the Indianapolis Star. It has been "modified" and "edited" by others and circulated on the Internet, even sent to me several times. Imagine my surprise to see it attributed to some guy named Anonymous. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I take having my work circulated on the web as a compliment.

16 comments:

Denise Patrick said...

That is so very sad, but true!! It's too bad.

.ink. said...

What a wonderful composition of intelligence and integrity through an obit on Common Sense. You got my dendrites crackling.

My thought immediately after reading:
Police Report
Cleverness poisoned Common Sense, and took over his estate. Community let it happen because its not cultured to fight and because it may lose something if it did, though it truly knew not what. So, Complacency was an accomplice ...

Ralph Westfall said...

What issue of the London Times? A search on its web site doesn't turn up this document.

Anonymous said...

This is by a right winger - they frequently attribute to sources that never said it.

You can tell because of the quip about abortion. Right wingers prefer angry parents beat or kill their daughters (and possibly the boy to blame) when they get pregnant. Liberals know that most daughters would feel safe telling their parents and don't think the schools [sic] should tell. It makes more sense not to have an addional law with an exception to doctor-patient confidentiality in this case.

Anonymous said...

Yes, knowing ones rights and expecting to have them recognized is surely a clear indication that Common Sense is dead. And heaven forbid, no one should be blamed when it is they who is responsible for wrongdoing – the onus for wrongdoing should clearly fall on the person who has been violated, and who has no Common Sense right to be considered a victim; Webster and all the other dictionaries have the definition all wrong: “victim” really should be defined as “whiner”. Just as a last note, Common Sense was only known to say, “Life isn’t always fair” to himself… only to someone else on the receiving end of a bum rap, or a crime at the hands of someone who wasn’t brought to justice. This commentary is truly a one-sided take on the subject… we who have the advantages and those who deserve to be abused... someone who lacks the common sense to realize some children have potentially lethal aleric reactions to aspirin and some teachers use applying sunscreen as an opportunity to fondle young children inappropriately.

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Anonymous said...

It's absolutely amazing how our comments can be misconstrued and twisted to fit the readers own interpretations. Common sense ruled our developement for a long time. Now we have been given the freedom to ignore it in persuit of our own personal immediate gratification.I'm grateful that my time on this earth is short and I won't be around to see what kind of society will develope from our newest set of criteria

Dominique said...

I loved this post! Thanks so much for sharing it. I cross-posted it on my blog as I thought more people should get to read it!

Anonymous said...

bless your yeses and know your noes

Anonymous said...

I’ve just heard about poor Mr. Common Sense. Did he die of that disease called Lawdosis – In Australia, it’s a morbid condition spawned by P R E Cedent and passed on to Comm N Law. You know, of course, that Comm N Sense and Comm n Law were very distant cousins. The Comm N Law side bred up faster than outback bunnies before myxometosis. There were, and still are billions of them (and more on the way, of course). Poor Comm N Sense probably couldn’t get proper treatment. The Statute family have been infected also and they are all on their last legs. I wonder if it is the same disease in the UK.

Anne Whitfield - author said...

To clear up some confusion, I did not write the above article. I found it posted anonymously online and thought it too good not to share.
Please don't credit me with this article.
On further investigation I found who did actually write the piece.
Note from Lori Borgman:
This piece was first published March 15, 1998 in the Indianapolis Star. It has been "modified" and "edited" by others and circulated on the Internet, even sent to me several times. Imagine my surprise to see it attributed to some guy named Anonymous. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I take having my work circulated on the web as a compliment.

Kudos to Lori.

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Anonymous said...

Oh how funny that you have an article here about common sense that has been highjacked by the mindless PC corrupted left and one straight away makes a post against it in promotion of the very actions the article was making fun of! The fact that their mind straight aways thinks that a teacher would only put sun screen on a child as an excuse to fondle them says more about them than anything.

But


Here you are a link to what may be the original post I think! You seem to be asking about it.

http://www.loriborgman.com/The_Death_of_Common_Sense.html

sculpturenut said...

Here's a better version:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since everyone has a different idea of who he was, and what he looked like. If we could be sure, his birth records would be easily accessible due to the mostly excellent record-keeping of government departments world-wide. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: - Knowing when to come in out of the rain;- Why the early bird gets the worm;- Life isn't always fair;- and maybe it was my fault. Others will remember him for teaching us to sing in the rain; share our early worms with the less fortunate; and that the meek shall inherit the earth. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).His health began to deteriorate rapidly when governments began leaving governance up to corporations and neglected to regulate their activities. As a result, there has been a widening gap between rich & poor; climate change, species extinction and growing political instability. Common Sense lost ground when an underfunded public school system could no longer give children the tools needed to become informed voters in a democracy. He declined even further when other social supports systems for poorer parents were removed in order to allow tax cuts for the wealthy. Common Sense lost the will to live as schools, churches & prisons became businesses; and incarceration was looked on as a more cost-effective social strategy than education & health care. Common Sense took a beating as the number of poor and alienated people who broke the law increased while judicial facilities were scaled back. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after the very bankers & brokers who created the recent financial collapse & economic hardship for millions of people were rewarded with a bail-out in the trillions. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Honesty, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; Rape, Pillage, Destroy & Profit. Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on, join a small but active minority and do something.

Ondrej from Top Ten Books said...

Yeah, but with a bit of luck the Common Sense will return!